 I officiated a wedding for a great couple. This was a booking from a bridal show and the bride had actually won my drawing. My clients were originally going to have a friend DJ for them. Turns out, the friend bailed. Apparently their friend had a family emergency and neglected to call or try to explain his absence. My groom actually wrote an article about this particular incidence and it was published online. (http://www.examiner.com/st-clair-county-in-detroit/how-the-smart-phone-saved-our-wedding-reception)  Being that I am in the wedding planning industry, I try to always be prepared, and for this particular time, I and my fiancée were! We were able to step up and help by being the DJ’s for this couple and all turn out just fine…This is one of a handful of weddings I have booked over the years due to a friend of the bride or groom not coming through. Perhaps it’s a blessing in disguise. Sometimes the real damage happens when they DO show up. So this begs the question, “Should you hire a friend for your wedding?” My two cents…no. When couples hire me, at some point I ask them about the other vendors they’ve hired. It’s important for me to know who all the players are. That’s part of my process. When a couple tells me they are considering having a friend do the photography, or the catering, or the wedding planning & coordinating, the first thing I always ask is “Does your friend do this professionally?” That can make all the difference in the world. A professional is an expert who is a master in a specific field. Professionals most often do what they do for a living, commercially, and not just at home for fun.  I’m not a major sports nut, but the Baseball playoff finals are going on right now. For a moment, compare your wedding to a big game in these finals. You’ve put an enormous amount of work into this game. Blood, sweat, tears, countless hours of planning and strategy has gone into this day. Then, imagine someone made the decision to have a friend come in and be your pitcher. Or visualize one of your friends being an umpire. To save even more money, you could have another friend run the sound system and music programming for all your fans. That person could even use the microphone to talk to the crowd. For pictures, your Aunt Sally has a new camera and is getting better and better all the time. She could come in and shoot. This will be fantastic! You probably see where I’m going with this. The game will still be played, but all of your fans will be disgusted by the game, upset with the umpire, bored and unmotivated by your DJ, and weeks after the game when you look at the photographs, you’ll be in tears because every important shot you wanted was missed.  How to say no: I love honesty (mostly because I’m terrible at lying), so I recommend just explaining why you’re not hiring a friend who has offered wedding services as straightforwardly as possible. But if you feel like you can’t use the direct approach, just shift the blame: you can’t hire them because of the demands of your parents, your in-laws, your fiancée, your wedding planner, your venue contract. Pick the fib that works for you. This is not a stretch. And I understand there are tremendous savings in having a friend help out at the wedding. Times are tough for all of us and every dollar counts. My advice? Don’t hire your friends, unless they are professionals in the industry. Plan your wedding early, with plenty of time to save up for the right players to do the job. I often talk with couples not just about the details here and now, but how they will feel 5, 10…25 years from now. When you look back on your wedding day, you don’t want to feel regret. You don’t want to push your wedding album to the back of the closet because you’re embarrassed to look at the pictures or show them to friends & family. You don’t want to relive your first dance when your DJ friend started playing the wrong song or the music just stopped while all your guests were watching you, or he got up and said something completely inappropriate or offensive. Those memories last a lifetime and you can't get them back!  Pros ·Your friend might be willing to give you a discount as a wedding gift, however it would be rude to ask for this. · By hiring a friend you are contributing to the success of her business. · Instead of playing Russian roulette with unknown wedding vendors, you can rest assured that your vendors are trust-worthy. · If you hire a friend, she may put some extra effort into her job since it’s for someone she cares about. ·Just the act of involving friends and family in your wedding is a win-win situation for everyone. Cons · If your ideas clash with your friend’s then it may be difficult to ensure that everyone is happy on the big day.  · When you hire a friend or anyone to do a job there isn’t a 100% insurance that the job will get done correctly, or the way you envisioned. If your friend doesn’t pull through the way you hoped, it could cause a rift in your relationship. · The friend you hire will be working instead of enjoying your wedding.  Planning your wedding can be fun and stressful, so the most important thing to remember when doing so is that you make decisions that relieve stress, rather than add more. Have fun!  |
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